What makes a second or third divorce different from the first?
Partners do not enter a marriage expecting it to end in divorce. But the reality is that it can happen. And perhaps no one understands this as much as people who have been through one before.
If you have been through one divorce and are facing a second or third split, you probably know a lot more about the process than you did that first time. That said, there are some distinct ways that a second or third divorce is different from a first one.
Having a prenup or postnup
People who remarry after a divorce tend to be more realistic about the future and, therefore, are more likely to have a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement.
If you have these contracts, your divorce can go more smoothly than the first time around. However, there could be complications if you or your ex contest the enforceability of the agreement.
When you remarry, you might have children with multiple partners, step-children and a network of in-law relationships.
Thus, you may need to determine whether and to what extent you want to keep your children and step-children together. And balancing your parenting time with your ex and your ex’s ex can make it difficult to reach decisions.
Additionally, step-children, adopted children, grandparents and former parents-in-law can dramatically impact things like business succession and your estate plans. Discussing these matters in detail with your attorney is crucial.
Scars from the first marriage and divorce
No matter how different your second marriage or divorce is from your first one, they can affect your experience.
For instance, this article discusses how common it is for people to carry scars from their first marriage and divorce into their next one.
As such, if you went through a bitter divorce with a combative, vengeful ex, you could be expecting that to happen again. And issues like false allegations or hidden assets could also make you less trusting during subsequent splits.
Recognizing, overcoming obstacles
Every marriage and divorce is different. If you are going through a second or third divorce, keep this in mind as you approach this experience.
You can also remind yourself that you have made it through this process before, and you may be in a better position this time around when it comes to seeing and overcoming the complications of divorce.