We often see people saying false, hurtful or embarrassing things about their ex during a divorce. Many do it online where there is no need to have a direct exchange or back up their statements.This badmouthing can be quite upsetting. It could even affect the divorce itself. If your ex is doing this, there are a few ways you can respond.
DISENGAGE COMPLETELY
One of the most effective ways to respond to a badmouthing ex is disengagement. Stop following them on social media and block them from seeing your accounts. Do not respond to messages aimed at simply getting a rise out of you.
By disengaging, you do not give them the satisfaction of upsetting you, and you do not have to expend emotional energy on their childish behaviors.
This approach can be effective if what they say about you is relatively harmless or if their statements are obviously those of an angry ex.
OPEN UP TO THOSE CLOSEST TO YOU
If you are worried that the badmouthing will affect how your children, family or friends feel about you, opening up to them can help ease your concerns.
You might clear up any falsehoods or explain your side of a situation to concerned adults. Depending on your child’s age, keeping it simple is often the best approach. Focus on showing them love and support rather than badmouthing the other parent back or dragging them into a conflict.
TAKE ACTION
If the things your ex is saying online are untrue and adversely affecting your job, reputation or position in the divorce, putting a stop to it can be an option. Depending on what they are saying, you might consider:
- Reporting them to the website administrators if their statements violate user agreements
- Presenting the statements to the judge presiding over your divorce
- Pursing harassment charges
The most suitable option will depend on the content of their statements and how they affect you.
FOCUS ON YOUR OWN NARRATIVE
Whatever you decide to do about an ex badmouthing you online during a divorce, one crucial element to keep in mind is that you can manage your own narrative. Try focusing on yourself, what you can control and how you can live your best life.
