Parental alienation

Divorce is between the two parents, but sometimes a parent will use divorce issues to drive a wedge between the other parent and the child in hopes of destroying the existing relationship between them. Restructuring a family always brings confusion, but healthy parents use their time to reassure their children, not alienate them from the other parent. If you are a mother or father and feel you have been the victim of parental alienation, we at Stolar Law Group can help.

WHAT IS PARENTAL ALIENATION?

Parental alienation occurs when one parent attempts to distance or cut off the relationship of their child or children with the other parent. This can either be a willful and malicious act or be part of an unhealthy coping mechanism related to a severe personality disorder. When successful, parental alienation is a serious form of emotional child abuse that has the power to destroy healthy family relationships.

Parents who attempt to alienate their children from their other parent typically exhibit some of the following characteristics:

• Bitterness or revengefulness
• Highly defensive and likely to project blame onto others
• Lacks insight into how their behaviors affect others
• Potentially dependent on their child
• Emotionally fragile

If you notice any of the following signs of hostility in your ex-spouse, you may have cause for concern that parental alienation is taking place:

• They regard themselves as the only “good” parent
• They teach their child that the other parent is unacceptable by magnifying their flaws
• They refer to the other parent using negative names
• They sabotage the visitation rights of the other parent using claims of illness, claims of separation anxiety, or excessive phone calls to prevent or limit the time the child spends with the other parent
• They withhold phone calls, mail, or gifts from the other parent
• They make false claims of abuse or neglect
• They destroy any tangible reminders of the other parent
• They employ manipulation, guilt, and/or fear to force the child to choose them over the other parent

Children may buy into this brainwashing because they feel the need to protect a depressed or needy parent, or because they want to avoid angering them. In any case, this puts the child in a harmful position that could end up doing them significant emotional or mental harm.